Mambo, Mwamba, Mwalimu

Last post I mentioned the "big five" thinking that it would make me sound safari savvy. The problem was that I hadn't really done my homework. It's actually a game hunting term used to refer to the five largest, and most difficult animals to kill in the region. So the "big five" refers to the Lion, African Elephant, African or Cape Buffalo, Leopard and the Black Rhino. While my inner vegetarian (one goat eating incident does not a carnivore make) cringed at the thought of advocating for such a term, the writer in me jumped at the chance to put my own spin on the subject. Many thanks to Annie for calling my bluff, and here is what I have learned about the big five.

The Cape Buffalo, also called the African Buffalo or "Mbogo" in Kiswahili, is big, ugly, gregarious and it seems, also quite dangerous. Like the Hippo, the African Buffalo has the mythological aura of having claimed the most human lives on the continent. It seems that researchers are currently engaged in a pissing match of sorts, over who has trampled, mangled or otherwise led to the demise of more Homo Sapiens. And all of this is particularly strange given that the Buffalo's closest genetic relation is the dairy cow, making East Africa's most seen safari animal, a bit like a heifer with a nasty hangover.

The Leopard, called "Chui" in Kiswahili, is one of the most dangerous and elusive animals in East Africa. The interesting thing about these guys is their ability to live in close proximity to humans. In fact, they are careful not to hunt in routine ways, making them tough to stop when they decide your livestock is dinner. I am told that they are the most feared animal in Africa, which leaves me with only one question. What does it say about a place when damn near everything is the "most deadly" or "most feared?"

The Lion, called "Simba" in Kiswahili and some Disney movies, is huge and famously lazy. It is said that their favorite pastime is sitting under large acacia and watching other animals hunt. When cheetah or hyena come down with a big kill, the lions snatch them with glee. I seem to remember a kid like that in my grade school cafeteria. It is also said, that of 42 tribes in Kenya, the lion chases 41. But lions know the tall loping gate of the Masai, and run from them. I have yet to see anyone actually prove this, but I will say that the Masai have lived alongside lions for many years, and they have a deep respect for the animal--unless of course their livestock get eaten, and then all bets are off.

The Rhino, of which there are two varieties, is called "Faru" in Kiswahili. The smaller of the two is the black rhino, which primarily forages in thick undergrowth. The white rhino is bigger, and prefers the open plains where more grasses are in abundance. The distinction between the two is not so much about color, but the unique adaptations they have evolved for consuming certain kinds of vegetation. So, as I understand it, the white rhino is actually a mispronunciation of the original description, or "wide rhino" given its wide flat mouth. The black or hook-lipped rhino is so called because of its smaller, more hook like orifice, which helps it eat more precisely around thorns and branches. It seems that in this region, there are many names which are some sort of perversion of an older, more traditional one, and some are just plain misunderstandings. I am told that Spanish settlers, first entering the harbor near the soon-to-be named city of Mombasa, were told by their deck hands, "Mwamba Sir." Which roughly would have meant, "hey look, a really big rock."

The African Elephant, called "Tembo" in Kiswahili, is Jen's personal favorite. These endangered and yet resilient creatures eat approximately 3000 tons of foliage a month in the Masai Mara, which, according to ecologists, creates a lot of poop. As such, Elephants are called the architects of their environment. They drop football-sized turds that are feasted on by a host of thankful dung beatles, who pull chunks off, and drag them into their underground burrows. It seems that along with their groceries, the beatles bring acacia seeds that become planted in the fertile soil, speeding up the normally slow germination process. So while the big fellas eat a lot, they also help to regrow the forest, which makes them at least as smart as most of the humans I know.

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